I should never have come back here. -- Parker Moyle

(Wednesday, April 4, 2018) An interesting thing I realized these past few days is that as our capacity for love and joy increases, so does our capacity for sadness. The immense love we build with these children amounts also to the sadness we feel in saying goodbye. 

The last time you heard from me I told you about the best day of my life. Now I'm telling you how hard that was on me. 

I will never be able to express my gratitude to the people of the Raisharan village for the perspective they have given me. A perspective which I learned last year and that has been really imprinted on me once again. The perspective that despite being so poor and having next to nothing in terms of possessions, their capacity for love and joy is endless. These poor children, some whose family have no income, and whose only meal is the rice given to them at school everyday. They are the happiest beings you will ever see. And that's the hardest part about coming home.

On Sunday we will return to our comfortable homes in the United States, and all our stresses, problems, and responsibilities will be waiting for us, untouched. Life will just go right back to normal as if nothing has changed, and people will ask you how your trip was. That question is frustrating because you want people to understand this perspective, but you can't put it into words. When someone asks about India you want them to know of the love you've seen and the joyous children who have changed your life, and their happiness despite having no possessions.  This perspective changes everything and makes our problems and stresses back home feel so insignificant. However, you can't make others see that, you truly had to be there to understand. The magic of those children's joy will not be present back home. I will never see that capacity for love and joy again. 

See you soon. 

-PM